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The truth about love is that we are taught what is right about it and what is wrong. When we meet someone, we analyze: Can we allow ourselves to love that person? Do we need to love that person? Is it cool to love that person?  We compare to all parameters of love, which were taught to us by our parents, school, teachers, friends and media and just the whole society. As a child I was not simply allowed to like somebody and be friends with them. Of course it happened, but I was always questioned about why I like this person? Does he or she have good manners? And if I liked that friend and my parents didn’t , they simply did not allow me to be with friends with him or her. As a kid I simply didn’t feel any restriction to loving somebody. I just liked them or loved them and that was it. If I didn’t get approval from my parents, I would just simply like or love that person in silence. Yet,I lost touch with my true self as a result of this upbringing. I don’t really allow myself to feel and express love towards the person, who might not fit the standard. I believe I’m not alone. We are so scared to love a wrong person that we hold back on “what is”. We have a certain idea of what love should be. Certainly, I did and still have.

1. Love is not what we think it is 

In my experience, love always surprises me with a new flavor, new situation, all kinds of different levels of intensity and within unexpected kind of relationships. It always comes there, where I could not possibly expect it and where no books could describe this kind of love. Social media always tells us that love has to be interesting, full of drama and action. We never read about love that is just there, when we don’t have to do anything about it, not react to it in any way. Love simply is. No rules of society, morality or religion can restrict it. It simply shows up and it’s just there. We might try to suppress it inside our hearts, but we only create suffering in ourselves and in others. Yes, when we suffer, we bring suffering wherever we go to as well. So just letting go of conventional ideas about what love should be is a first step to liberation and feeling what is. Also, it is a first step to understanding our true nature.

2. Love is a flow

I meet people who think they are strong people because they do not allow any feeling of love and warmth overwhelm them. Ok, great! I don’t think it should be overwhelming. I think it should be simply a “flow”. Is this restriction of “flow” a reflection of fear of being too weak by allowing this feeling? Is it fear that another person might not love you enough? Is it fear of losing control over the situation? Anyway, it is a loss of natural flow and the warmth that the heart is capable of. It is loss of our true “food” for our heart and soul. Fear should be transformed and so are past traumas.

3. Love is accepting what is

My new way of learning to love is to accept what is. It is very difficult, because I always want to beat myself up and be the perfection of what I was taught about love and family. My soul does not have the same ideas about love as my mind. My soul wants to be free, and it wants a lot of expression. Also, I’m learning not to react to what comes, but simply feel it. It is amazing when I do that. I still have a lot of questions about this or that, but I guess, I’m supposed to learn about this or that as well. I cannot thank Universe, God and all my teachers enough for the tools of self-realization that they provided: qi gong and kundalini meditation. Wow! Without those things I would still be in my small little box of confusion and self-pity!

4. Love over perfection

I want to feel love so much! And what stops me? I stop myself because it is not safe to love somebody “wrong”, someone who does not correspond to our criteria or doesn’t fit the situation. If only we could meet someone perfect to allow ourselves to love, life would be perfect. But it never is and we have to love whoever we love and stop fighting with ourselves.

5. Love is our food

When we allow the feeling of love, we allow the flow of qi or energy into our heart. When qi flows into the heart, we feel great joy in our whole being. When we have joy, there is no reason to be unhappy and our presence is a blessing to everyone. Love feeds us. It is our food.

6. Love is eternal

Love doesn’t just go away. Even if a person offended us or it seemed that way, the love is a capability of a heart to be open and loving. Love is not really about the other person. It’s actually about us. We are the ones who feel deeply connecting love. It is part of who we are. The other person is reason for us to reveal these kind of feelings in us. So when that person disappears from our lives, I experience that love is still there just because it is who we are. The reason might dictate its rules that that person does not deserve our love. Again, love is not about that person. It is about who we are and our true essence. Our true self always stays with us. It cannot simply disappear just because of a negative situation. Love is forever even if we deny its entrance in our hearts. I can keep on closing my heart over and over again, but nothing gives me a more elated, Truthful, ecstatic feeling, like feeling of an open heart and the love. That love feels like eternity beyond this life on Earth.

7. Love is healing

Just by training ourselves to feel love in our heart, we open it up so much that we embrace people more, we accept and connect more. By allow this feeling of love we see things in a different perspective, thus creating higher vibrations that radiate from our electromagnetic field. A warm-hearted person is like a magnet for everybody, because everybody needs and wants love.  When our love center – heart – is open, we allow the flow of qi or energy in our body. When we don’t feel love, we stagnate, which feels like we are not allowing the energy in or out of our energy field. Sometimes opening of the heart is a dramatic experience and sometimes it is just a flow, allowing of that higher vibrational energy. Whatever experience one might endure, it is worth it. A body, body part, a person get healed when we think of them with love and see them literally in the light. E. g. If I think of my used-to-be arthritic hands with love, they’ll look especially beautiful and they feel especially healthy the next day. Just by thinking of someone with love we already heal them.

Meditate on love: Sit in a comfortable position with your back straight. Close your eyes and remember all the beautiful moments when you felt loving and loved. It could be connected to a person, a family, friends, pets, nature etc. Simply evoke that feeling. Increase that feeling of love and feel your heart. Just keep that image in your mind and the feeling in your heart. When you are ready, open your eyes. Meditate at least 5 minutes a day.